


If you pull, then I'll push too deep

by IntolerantBonita



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Bård Ylvisåker - Freeform, Gen, One Shot, Vegard Ylvisåker - Freeform, alternative universe, another fic about depression, brofeels, no wives no kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 03:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5233139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntolerantBonita/pseuds/IntolerantBonita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vegard came back to home and realized that Bård didn't do anything yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you pull, then I'll push too deep

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to prove myself that I’m not a lazy piece of sh*t and I can write something in English (because I’m still learning and I suck at it tbh). Sometimes a small Vegard in my head starts talking to me like he's talking to Bård in this fic and I that's why I wanted to wirte about it. I know it has a loooot’s of mistakes, but I had good intentions :). Enjoy!

“Finally at home”, he thought as pulling out keys from his pocket. He chose the right one and opened the door. After his eyes got used to the darkness, to his surprise, he didn't see his younger brother sleeping on the couch as usual. It seemed strange for him, because he used to see Bard laying or sleeping all the time. Yeah, Bård... So in that case, where is he loitering this time?

“Bård?” he asked. Only silence answered him; the lights were turned off in the entire flat. For a moment he thought that his brother wasn't upset about his absence which took a couple of days. He probably just left to the bar with some strange people - Bård always did that when he was out of humor or when he wanted “to relax”. Vegard didn't like all these moments, when he got to the car in a hurry, trying to hear the address of a place from which Bård rang at the same time. The Bård's voice was deafened by noise and girls' laughter and it was simply awkward for him. It happened more and more often and Vegard started thinking whether not to close the door back and call the younger brother. He had also an alternative - not to be upset about Bård and at once to get into his bed. He got over with an exhausting flight, but he still has some exhausting months ahead of him.

"Vegard, is it you?" stopped his thoughts. Vegard was relieved – "So tonight will be a good night, without bringing in a drunk brother and waking up our neighbors". Anyway, he didn't expect anything good either. When the younger Ylvisåker was in a good mood, he always welcomed Vegard with open arms even if he saw him a few hours earlier. He acted a little bit like a puppy which couldn’t wait for his owner’s comeback. In a way, he had a similar role for his younger brother like the owner for the puppy – since Bard started "being ill", Vegard promised their parents he would move to him and keep an eye on his health until he will feel better. It was like six months ago, but flat of the older one is still empty. Vegard had to leave the brother alone at home for a week, because he had to negotiate recording deadlines in Los Angeles. At that time, Bård was supposed to write scripts of skits – if he wrote enough good material, Vegard presupposed that they could start filming in three weeks. Everybody in the office was quite busy because of the tight schedule; only a few months ago everyone thought that IKMY wouldn’t turn up in Norwegian television again.

Vegard turned the light on and walked slowly into the living room. He was really drained and the only thing he was wondering about was his comfy bed, and he hoped he can do it soon. If Bård was sitting somewhere wordless, it means that he didn’t feel like having a conversation or listening to boring stories about their job; Vegard wasn’t in mood for telling details too, but it would be nice if the brother asked him how that was. He was a little bit irritated and just simply "hey, was it good?", which he could answer "yeah" could cheer him up. IKMY was their common child and at least both were striving very hard so that everything came out great. But within the last time, Bard's enthusiasm let up so much; most of the time everyone might see him in a condition which Vegard could see him now. He was sitting idly on the sofa with his hands shoring up his head and except for the question who came, he didn’t pay attention on the curly headed at all. So this is how them working together was supposed to look like? Before the Vegard’s journey he already shirked several times because of his “headache and malaise”, and in the end he stopped coming to the office at all. The older Ylvisåker, initially headed by concern, let his younger brother work at home, but for God’s sake – he had to work! The mess was everywhere, so Vegard recognized, that the younger one didn’t go out literally anywhere and he even didn’t deign to tidy up after himself. When Vegard lacked ideas and couldn’t focus on his work, he was able to clean the whole apartment – he wanted to get busy with something else. Unlike to his brother, Bård didn’t even lift a finger in the recent days. It was funny, that they will have the same role for their entire lives as they had when they were five; Bård made a mess and Vegard had to clean it up and account for it himself. However, it wasn't possible to say that he didn't love Bård - after all, they still were brothers and he felt the inner duty of protecting him. Bard was still sitting on the couch with his eyes closed. Finally, Vegard shook his thoughts off and broke the silence:

"Hi, how’s work going?" asked and sat down next to the brother. Bård trembled a bit; he knew what Vegard would do if he tell him the truth. He didn’t get his work done - it wasn’t that he didn’t care about IKMY. He just had days or months when he couldn’t motivate himself to get out of bed and brush his teeth, and the last days were like this. "Vegard is my elder brother and I can always count on him. I’m sure he’s going to understand me" Bård thought, but he was still nervous. Vegard noticed his hesitation, so Bård had to say anything. He started, but faltered: "I... I was trying... I really attempted to write something good…”. As he was removing hands from his face, he still wasn’t looking at the brother - he only pointed on the Mac standing on the coffee table, but Vegard already caught the situation. He could see only an empty New Tab of the writing program on the screen.

"Are you trying to tell me, that you didn’t do anything for seven days?” Vegard tried to control his emotions and voice, but he felt that he had no patience for Bård anymore. The tiredness got the better of reasonableness. He knew he should keep calm - if he raised his voice now, he would scold his brother for everything, even for smearing his favorite T-shirt when he was five. But Bård didn't make this situation easier – he was still looking at the screen with a vacant look, like he was searching for a meaningful answer to his brother’s words. Vegard continued: "Can you somehow explain it to me, Bård? Did the people from the office get any tasks; literally anything, what they could expand and finally start working at?". Bård only swallowed hard, as if he was waiting for the further words. Obviously, their co-workers had to sitting idly now and probably they are as much angry at him as his own brother. After all, he was bound to fill the boss’ responsibilities during the Ylvisåker’s absence and everyone was waiting only for his decisions. _"They must hate me"_ – he thought. Similarly to Vegard, he didn’t like when somebody shouted at him, in particular, if it was somebody close of whose words hit him with redoubled strength. In the last few months Bård became very delicate and meek and he even didn’t suspect himself of it. He stopped creating himself for an all-knowing person and he got used that now Vegard was the one who took most decisions. _" He must hate me now"_.

"Through the recent months I was buoying up you, I let you to work at home, although it implemented chaos in the office, and now you even aren’t deigning to look at me? Is our work supposed to look this way now?!" Vegard pushed the brother’s arm and sharply bestirred himself. His patience just ended. “For god’s sake, wake up! It’s almost November, and we have only what I transacted in LA and a few weak ideas which were invented by Calle as he got stuck in the fucking traffic?!" he shouted. „Are we really requiring so much from you?! You are an adult and you wanted to work in television business yourself, so don’t bullshit me now that you felt bad or you didn’t have ideas! You should take and aspirin or go for a walk!". His own shout came up to him from a distance, a fury seized him more and more. Bård closed his eyes again and Vegard knew, that if he could, he would cover ears with hands, so that he couldn’t hear the brother’s shout. Seeing Bård’s behavior which maddened him much more, he predicted his next move. Before Bård could resist, Vegard jerked him and forced to stand up. He grabbed the younger’s arms and started screaming straight into his face:

"Do you even care about it?! Do you even give a fuck about what we accomplished and what we can accomplish?! Your future is also my future, so stop being so fucking selfish and also think once about me! I'm caring for you since you were born, so how, for god's sake, are you repaying me?!". Bård was trying to look away, but he couldn't fixate on anything. ”Vegard, stop..." he said quietly.

"No way! From our two I'm doing the most of the work, but everybody always thinks that you are the one who deserves praise!"

"Please, keep calm..." Bård tried to stop the brother, but he didn't want to listen to him. Quite the opposite - Vegard dug nails into his shoulders more firmly, till Bard groaned in pain and the first unwanted tears appeared in his eyes.

"I'M SICK OF YOU, YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT ANYNONE BUT YOURSELF!" roared and gripped his this way, that Bård had to look him in the eyes. It was the last thing, which Vegard remembered in a way that has always been - the view of pale blue eyes in which it was possible to read fear, sadness and tiredness.

"You always simulate to leave you alone and get off your tail! Your depression is only a fib, a flimsy excuse! You should finally face up to your problems as a real guy, not only hiding in your room saying that you are feeling bad! You’ve got everything whereof the majority could only dream about, and you still behave like a moody kid!". Saying the last words he at once regretted what he had said - in spite of tiredness he knew that he exaggerated with his judgement: Bård’s eyes widened in disbelief and started becoming glazed. Vegard wanted to finish what he has started; he only had to think a little bit about the right, delicate words which could ease the situation. But could he count on it? The sight of tears in his brother's eyes was a hit for him, and it fact he threw this punch himself. They were his own defeat, because the whole situation was only his fault. Vegard wanted to understand the younger, but every time he tried, it ended this way. In an attempt to focus on solving the entire incident, he pushed Bård from himself and turned around. He only wanted to free himself from the view of this resentful eyes and take a deep breath. When Vegard was standing with his back to Bård, he heart, not as he thought in the first reflex the sob, but a really loud wham and percussion of clunking something heavy against the floor.

\---

Everything has happened then very quickly; he only remembers his own cry, his own scream, his rapid breathing and the signal of the ambulance, for which one of their neighbors has called. When he was seeing Bård, lying on the floor with a quite big bleeding gash on his head, he forgot about everything what they taught him about accidents like this. He started panicking and he couldn't control his trembling hands, let alone his head full of hostile thoughts which were in his head until now.

Now he is sitting hunched in the hospital waiting room; after reaching here, first what he did, was a phone call to Calle. Despite the fact, that it was his first free weekend in this month and he was supposed to spend it with Kaja, he promised to arrive as soon as possible. Waiting for any information which could decide about their future is unendurable. The probability of concussion caused by butting against a door-frame is huge, and the time is running out. The time, that he could spend on telling about his business meeting that he didn't want to tell about. Now, Vegard would give everything, so that he could come back to that moment and one more time came into the flat; said “Bård?” into the darkness. And finally understood, that Bård never faked his illness.


End file.
